Mortdecai (2015)

Mortdecai (2015)

Juggling angry Russians, the British Mi5, and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai races to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain a code that leads to lost Nazi gold.

Director:

 David Koepp.

Writers:

 Eric Aronson (screenplay), Kyril Bonfiglioli (novel).

Stars:

 Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ewan McGregor.

Storyline

Juggling some angry Russians, the British Mi5, his impossibly leggy wife and an international terrorist, debonair art dealer and part time rogue Charlie Mortdecai must traverse the globe armed only with his good looks and special charm in a race to recover a stolen painting rumored to contain the code to a lost bank account filled with Nazi gold.

On the 31st of January 2015, a great tragedy befell upon me. Being an avid cinema goer and comedy lover I decided to go and watch Mortdecai,a seemingly alright film. How wrong was I. 

Mortdecai was an abomination. Annoying and unlikable characters, an uninteresting story, and cheap laughs. All the factors that a good comedy should not have. With such a star studded cast and high budget i can not believe how far off the mark this film was. The following 3 points will explain to you why I despise this film.

Jokes: Please, the key to comedy is not repetition. I refuse to believe that the writers deliberately put in the amount of "Gag at the mustache" jokes that I saw. I think I laughed once during this movie.

Transitions: I'm talking about the plane scenes here. Overused and boring.

Johnny Depp: Annoying accent, Annoying character, Annoying Jokes, Annoying Depiction of Upper class England. Just annoying. This movie has single-handedly slit the throat of Johnny Depp's already dying career.

To conclude, do not pay to watch this movie. It will hurt both your brain and your wallet. If you do decide to see it, get a lighter ready; your going to want to burn you ticket.